All posts by Ciara

Fire and Emotion

Electric veins
My lungs erupt into
A chaotic lava storm
Flowing like hot rivulets through
My skin
Crackling
This tempest
These ribs
Snap
Under pressure
Boiling over
Insects of fever crawl
All over me
Taking over
Boiling over
Flowing like hot rivulets
Through my skin -19/4/19

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Enough

I think that I’ve got to just accept that no matter what kind of illness my body throws at me there will always be someone who doesn’t understand it’s seriousness. It’s either in my head or not that bad. Yes, sure I could be in solitary confinement or have my skull bashed in or have cerebral palsy. But even then there would be an excuse.
I am always held back by something. There is always going to be a ‘height limit stopping me from going on a ride.’ The amount of times I scream ‘I can’t!’ It’s exhausting. If I was in a hospital bed in a coma would you visit me or would it be a time for you to explore yourself and socialise with someone other than me? Come on man I don’t expect a bouquet. A dandelion flower is more than enough. You know what I want? COMPASSION! Can you handle that? Or is it not enough that I’ve told you I’m in agony.  Psychically this time. And even then its not real enough…..

Should I wish this on you just so you’d understand? Yeah. I would.

Anger Rising

Unheard
Backed into the corner
Of a cage
Ice cold bars rip into hot flesh
Rising
Energy rising
Anger rising
Provoked from all angles
Wanting to be left alone
Too much
Needing help
Enclosed
Emotions breaking free
Anger bubbles like a scalding cauldron
Pour the hot liquid on my skin
Acid burns
Fades to black
Embracing the flames -9/12/18